I’m gonna go to school soon.
Oh, so tired!
but on the bright side, it’s another day with my babeeeesss.

it’s time for me to let go, and move on

I finally feel like posting again.

yes, i’m tired. so tired of everything. I’ve tried to ignore all those uneasy feelings that i’ve been getting, but it’s not going away. I hate it to the max. I dunno how it feels like to be happy anymore, I really dunno. it’s like as if happiness is deleted from my brain, yes i do laugh and i do smile, but sometimes, laughing doesn’t mean that you’re happy. No doubt that i’m happy with my ladies, but when i’m facing a lil bit of negative emotions, it totally triggers my depress button.

Sometimes, i dunno why i get so concern over what people think abt me. seriously. It’s just irritating and it really gets on my nerves. I push the feeling away and it bounce right back up and higher. Yeah, I know i tend to get on people’s nerves easily, but changing that would mean changing my whole personality, and I WOULD TOTALLY SUCK ttm!. is that what people really want? I don’t want to go back to the past, I don’t want to look at the future, but the present is killing me. What am i suppose to do?

I wish that i was a lil more brave, a lil more confident. so that people will not hate me so much. i jolly well know how many people is irritated, fustrated with me, how many people hates me, how many of them has the intention of throwing me in the dustbin, I KNOW ALL THAT. I just pretend that everything is alright, i laugh because i need to stop those tears from falling each time i feel depress, am i wrong?

all these tears are soon drying up, will i then be immune to all those negative comments? will i then find no more pain? will i then find no more hurt? will i then lose emotions i have?

Friday was the official ending for my attachment. I’M DEAD TIRED!!!!!attachment is H.E.L.L, althou i do enjoy imh posting to the max, but paeds attachment really drained me out!

anyway, I’m currently facing a very mixed until cannot mixed feeling and it’s really sucky! like seriously!!! what am i suppose to do?!

I forgot to update again ehh.

Sometimes i wonder why i’m such a lazy girl?! seriously I need to stop being so lazy and be more PROACTIVE la.

Anyway, the reason for not blogging recently is because i went back to my emo state, and i dun want to turn people off again, so i stop for awhile. i’ll provide with more updates when I’m feeling better alright!

Can you tell me, who am i?

To say the truth, today was a very emotional day for me. I felt very bad after hearing somethings about ‘us’. yes, i’m flabbergastered. I din realise i was this bad until today. i tried so hard to participate well, but i guess it was just not enough. So i’ll just work harder for next week then!

Did i mention that I’ll stop being emo?! i did right?! aiya, but it’s easier to be said then to be done, serious! but i made a vow that as long as the person says that he/she gets annoyed listening to my same o’ topic then I’ll close all the content, info and whining from the person. Such a nice person right! okay la.

Life is pretty much the same, however the bad thing is I think that my body cannot take the exhaustion. If i’m working morning, i can actually sleep from 5 to 9 then cont. to sleep from 11 to 5.=.= I’m really sleepy leh. and when i sleep, i tend to open my eyes, but my whole body wun be able to move. it’s pretty scary! even more scary when it happens for a few times.

So physically fatigue, Can you imagine that i talk to a lil girl for an hr or so?! And the best part is i manage to get her to open up to me! yayy!!!=) Pretty much drained out this few days and i think i don’t have enff sleep..=( aww man! I miss **h=((

I kinda have a weird feeling today. I dunno what it is, but whatever it is I hope it’s something good.

I’ve think abt it alr, it’s no use thinking so much when the other person doesn’t even know anything. Some how or rather, it felt very heartbreaking. but it’s over, i’m done, we’re done. I was lucky, I had the best time partly because of him=)). well, this is life isn’t it?! things can’t always go your way, so i kinda have to accept the fact that things may not have a start or a stop.

I know Queey and Yana got kinda irritated listening to me whinning non-stop today, but fret not cos from tmr onwards, i’ll not speak a word abt this anymore=D Not my worries, not my unhappiness, and definitely not my emo-ness cos there sldn’t be anymore of that left after this post. yes, BE HAPPY JESELLE!=)

Sometimes i wonder if that is how i really feel cos i tend to mix up my feelings. But whatever it is now, doesn’t matter anymore cos what is not mine, will not be mine and whatever is mine will eventually come to me. And no, this is not emo!

People must be wondering why i kept losing confidence in myself. But i have my explaination for that, it’s basically because i don’t look pretty neither do i have the best character. So people don’t really like girls like me, hence the downfall of my confidence.

Anyway, I may be away for quite sometime as i’m moving hse and my internet connection kinda got a problem.! So if i can i’ll update, if not then i may leave tumblr for a few days.